My (detailed) D&C Experience

I've never had any kind of surgery before (not even wisdom teeth) so I had a ton of anxiety because I had no clue what to expect. I knew I didn't have much of a choice, my babies were gone and because my doctor suspected a blighted ovum, it could take weeks to pass the tissue on my own and with every passing day, the risk of infection increases. The hospital I go to is about 20-25 minutes away and I needed to be there at 6 AM the morning of the surgery (Tuesday, Dec. 9). Within 10 minutes of my arrival I had my IV started. I have no problem with needles, but it did burn for about the first 20 minutes. My nurse was amazing...constantly making sure I was comfortable. Next, both my doctor and anesthesiologist came and spoke to me about the procedure and answered any questions that I had. I didn't want any additional medications than what was absolutely required but I ended up having to get something similar to Valium because my heart rate was elevated (130-140s) and if I would've received the anesthesia at those levels, there was a chance my heart rate could crash. I've never had anything like Valium before but I can tell you, I never want it again! My head felt heavy and overall, I felt drunk. Hated it! At 7:15 I was wheeled back to the operating room and again, had the best nurses I could've hoped for. I started crying; it was a mixture of having to say goodbye to my babies and an overwhelming fear that something will go wrong. The nurses handed me kleenex and held my hand and told me everything would be OK as they put the anesthesia into my IV. I woke up in the recovery room about 1/2 hr after the procedure and didn't have the slightest bit of grogginess. Overall, I felt OK, just some discomfort from the breathing tube and catheter. They monitored my vitals for a few minutes and wheeled me back in the room by my husband. After a little while, they wanted to make sure I could keep liquids down...I wasn't really nauseous but my stomach was still in knots from all the nervousness. I had some water, apple juice and a few saltines and was fine. Lastly, after an hour or two they needed to make sure I could use the restroom with no problems. It hurt SO bad! There was just a slight amount of blood but the worst part was the burning pain from the catheter. They told me to drink plenty of fluids when I got home and the more I urinated, the better it would get. We left the hospital at about 10:30 AM and headed home where I spent the rest of the day on the couch, trying to get sleep. The worst (physical) part about that entire first day was the catheter pain..which didn't end up getting better until the next day and battling insomnia. I didn't have much bleeding that first day, I just used a light days pad. The next afternoon is when I started experience cramping and slightly heavier bleeding, but still no more than a pad over an 8 hour time period. I did take one 200 mg ibuprofen that afternoon and still battled insomnia at night. Thursday was identical to Wednesday as far as bleeding, cramping, insomnia and again I managed pain with just one 200 mg. ibuprofen all day. I did decide on Thursday to pack away all the baby buys and positive pregnancy tests that I kept, it was just becoming too difficult to look at everyday. I had a complete crying on the floor, asking god why kind of breakdown. Embarrassing to admit but I'm going to be 100% honest and tell you the good, bad and ugly. Friday is the day I went back to work, I definitely wasn't ready but I ended up not having a choice as my co-worker had a vacation planned weeks in advance (I work at a VERY small business, so it's nearly impossible to run things when 2 employees are gone). On the drive to work that day, I had a small anxiety attack, just not ready to face customers asking where I had been and broke down in tears in the parking lot. I called my husband and he talked me through it and I went in and handled the day like a champ. Overall, Friday I felt really good physically...I kind of thought it would only get better from this point...boy was I wrong! Saturday morning at about 3 AM I woke up with legit, the worst cramps I've EVER felt in my life. I came into the living room and curled up in a ball and just cried. I was SO close to going to the emergency room but I always have a way of convincing myself I can get through the pain. At about 6 AM I finally choked down a nutri-grain bar so that I could take ibuprofen (my stomach is pretty sensitive to them). I ended up taking two and about an hour later the cramps slowly started to subside, still pretty intense but at least it was manageable. TMI ALERT...during this time of severe cramping, I was also passing some pretty large pieces of tissue and clots when I urinated, they ranged from half dollar to golf ball size. I did email my doctor in that time and he said if I wasn't soaking through more than a pad an hour, I was fine. That day was pure hell. Sunday was a LITTLE bit better. I was in a better mood because Saturday night was the first time I slept for more than 4-5 hours in almost a week. I still had cramping, heavier bleeding and passing clots but I just monitored everything closely and ended up being fine. Over the next week, things calmed down a bit. I still had bleeding but the cramping lessened. It took about 18 days after surgery to switch from a pad to pantyliner and for the cramps to completely subside. I did continue to pass some small amounts of clots/tissue up until 16 days after surgery. Another thing to mention is about two weeks after the surgery I started getting REALLY bad headaches and unfortunately that has still continued, I get them an average of 3-4 times per week and at this point I'm just attributing it to hormones. I had a follow up doctors appointment on Monday, Jan 5 and he was slightly concerned that I still had very light bleeding so he ordered a blood test to check my HCG levels and they were still at 5, almost four weeks after surgery. Let me also mention how much it completely sucks to be sitting in a waiting room full of pregnant women when your waiting for your post D&C appointment...even worse, I had to go alone because my husband couldn't get off work. My doctor went over the pathology and all the pregnancy tissue tested out normally and he said if I don't start AF on my own in 2 more weeks, I need to go back on Provera...not what I wanted to hear. He also asked when I thought we might start TTC again and I said I don't know...I'm scared. He told me in his experience, that fear will always be there, regardless of waiting 2 months or 2 years. On the plus side, I would be monitored more closely to put my nerves at ease. Overall, I felt like physically it took a solid 4 weeks to feel "normal" again. I'm still struggling emotionally, I'll have great days where I feel like things are getting better but then out of nowhere I feel SO sad and angry that this happened. I'm so sorry for anyone else that has had to go through a loss. It's so difficult and I hope and pray that someday we all get our take home babies. <3