Update!

I took a little bit of a hiatus because even though I will always be honest and tell it like it is, I got tired of feeling like I was only writing about negative things. Quite a bit has changed since my last post in August. I had a follow up Doctors appointment and he seemed just as lost as we are as to why we've had recurrent pregnancy loss. There is literally no other tests that can be ran on my husband or myself. I don't want to believe the fact that it's just "bad luck" but I know I also need to work on accepting things as they are. My Doctor said in about 50% of cases, there is never an exact reason found for recurrent pregnancy loss. It's been a really difficult decision to come to, but my husband and I have decided to keep trying to get pregnant. We have been told we have 50/50 odds of a successful pregnancy and although hearing that scares the shit out of me, I didn't come this far to give up now. I have been through just about every type of miscarriage and I'm a stronger person because of it. If we get pregnant and it's another loss, we will handle it just like we've handled it every other time. I feel like since I've been seeing a counselor for my anxiety (which was definitely intensified since the losses) I've made a lot of improvements. I've learned I can't always be in control of everything and sometimes I just need to let go and allow things to fall into place. That's the approach I'm taking with TTC. It does no good to stress about beta numbers and ultrasounds and worrying about the past because I will not have the power to change the outcome. All I can do is be as happy and healthy as possible. Currently I'm on CD 10. We will see what happens, I'm putting all my faith in God now. I will keep you all posted. Thank you for sticking with me!

 Ashley