HUGE news!!!!

We are giving conceiving naturally ONE last shot and I'm giving it everything I have left in me. I'm taking the next 5-6 months to (hopefully) lose approximately 40 lbs. Our goal is that by June, my cycles will cooperate and we can start trying again. Even though my Doctor thinks IVF is our next step, I asked him if he would be open to me doing a progesterone and baby aspirin regimen, and he is. I feel really good about this decision. If things don't work out again, I will know I tried my hardest and did everything possible to make it work. I think I would be more at peace than what I have been the last several losses. If god forbid, we have another loss, we will most likely move our focus to adoption rather than IVF. I know I've needed to lose this weight for a long time now and I can't imagine a better motivator than my future baby. I think it will also help with my anxiety, as I'm entirely too self conscious everywhere except my home. Here's to kicking infertility's ass!!

Some big decisions ahead

So I had an appointment with my OB two days ago. I got some news that I knew was always a possibility, but I thought we had a few options beforehand. He told me that our next step in our infertility journey is IVF with PGS/PGD testing. Hearing it out loud from my Doctor was tough. If you didn't know, I live in Wisconsin where health insurance here is not required to provide coverage for infertility. This will be 100% out of pocket. He gave me a pamphlet for a Doctor and clinic that in his opinion, is the best in the Midwest. It is the Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago. After getting some rough pricing estimates, we are looking at about $25,000 per IVF cycle. This would include all my medications, monitoring, retrieval, PGS/PGD testing and transfer. I still need to factor in all the time off work and traveling 3+ hours one way to the clinic. Normally this clinic would also provide a money back guarantee if you aren't successful, however because we have had more than 2 miscarriages, we don't quality. Our other option is of course, adoption. My mom is adopted, so it's quite near and dear to my heart. I have just started gathering information for a social services agency about 45 minutes from me to get a rough idea for pricing for that. Either option comes with a whole host of other questions and fears. What if my egg quality sucks, what if I miscarry again, what if we pursue adoption and nobody picks us. The kind of money these things cost is astronomical. I wish I could have a baby the old fashioned way. A decision doesn't have to be made today, obviously but it will take us a while to save up the money for either option. I will be 28 this May and the fertility clinic prices increase once you hit 30, so that's something else to think about. We have a lot of information to gather and ponder. I will be sure to keep you all posted with whatever we decide. Thoughts and prayers appreciated as we embark on this next journey.


xoxo,
Ashley

Happy 2016!

I was SO excited to kiss 2015 goodbye! It was, by far my most challenging year yet. I feel such a sense of hopefulness thinking about 2016 and all of its possibilities. I'm still doing really well handling my anxiety. I have yet to take medication and I've switched my bi-weekly counselor appointments to bi-monthly. I finally feel like I'm coming out of this storm that had me paralyzed for months and months. Nothing new to report on the TTC front, we are still not really trying, but not preventing. If it happens, it would be wonderful. If not, that's OK too. I have no problem focusing on myself and my husband in the meantime. I hope you all have an incredible 2016! A new year is like a blank book, the pen is in your hands, it is your chance to write a beautiful story for yourself.

XOXO,
Ashley

PS: I've attached a song that I believe played a large part in overcoming my struggles. I hope it can help you too.