Meeting my son soon!

In less than 24 hours my son will be here! At the last growth scan it was determined that he ran the risks of something called shoulder dystocia, which means if I tried to deliver vaginally, there was a good chance he could get stuck at the shoulders. This becomes an emergency situation within minutes. It was decided that the safest option for both he and I would be to schedule a c-section. I obviously don't love the idea of surgery but I will do whatever is necessary to get him here safe. I'm glad I never had my heart set on a birth plan after finding out I no longer qualified for a water birth (thanks to gestational diabetes). I feel like I would've taken the news of a cesarean much worse. My feelings of excitement leading up to his birthday are being overshadowed by my own fears and anxiety. I think what is messing with me the most is being wheeled into the same operating room, with the same Doctor where I had my 2 D&Cs and believing that I will get to leave that room with a baby this time. It's also the fear of the unknown..I'm nervous about having an incision to take care of, having to take it easy, the long recovery and being awake while I'm getting the procedure done. I've had two appointments with my counselor since scheduling the cesarean because I can't get over the fear of something going wrong. It's such a shitty feeling feeling like you're counting down the days to your death rather than what is the best day of your life. I find myself making sure my husband knows where all the passwords to our online accounts are and making sure he knows where my life insurance policies are located and tying up any loose ends in case I don't make it. Then it's a whole different battle feeling like because I'm thinking this way that I will jinx myself. Anxiety is an ugly, ugly thing and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I'm trying my very hardest to put my fears aside and tell myself that this is our time and after over 5 years of struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss, we deserve this and things will work out. I'm genuinely going to miss being pregnant and feeling him kick and wiggle inside but I can't wait to see his precious face that is the perfect mixture of my husband and I. I will update as soon as I can after we BOTH make it through delivery!!


Love,
Ashley

My experience with Gestational Diabetes

So as you can tell by the post title, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes this pregnancy. Although it didn't come as a huge shock to me, thanks to PCOS and family history, I still took the news REALLY hard. I was diagnosed right around 29 weeks and it took me several weeks to come to terms with it. I had a lot of self guilt, like if I would've done something differently I could've changed the outcome. The one hour glucose test wasn't that bad, people blow that shit way out of proportion. However, the 3 hour test wasn't the most fun I've ever had. Although the 100g sugar drink was nasty, the worst part was having to sit there hour after hour after hour with an empty stomach; but I somehow survived. The day of my 3 hour test, before I even got home, the nurse called and told me I failed. The next week I went in and met with a nutritionist and learned how to use my meter, which wasn't foreign to me as I previously mentioned, family history with diabetes. I had about two weeks that I felt like I had pretty good control over my numbers with diet alone. However, my Doctor is VERY strict and wanted my fasting levels below 95 and mine ranged from 92-102 so he said I needed intervention. I cried in his office, telling him I could do better but he explained that this is all about hormones and nothing I do or don't do will change things. He gave me the option of Glyburide or Metformin. I am NOT a medication person at all and when I HAVE to go on meds, I do an obscene amount of research. I heard people got horrible digestive upset (to put it nicely) with Metformin, so I decided on Glyburide. My Doctor told me to start 5mg each day with breakfast. My first day on it my sugar level quickly dropped to a very low 44 within just 2 1/2 hours of breakfast and the entire day was a constant battle trying to keep my numbers high enough to not pass out, have a headache, feel shaky or sick. I called his office once that day and the following and said I felt like my dosage was too high, he told me he wasn't willing to make a change until we see several days of trends. Well about 4 days went by and I was literally eating candy and crap food just to constantly have sugar and carbs in me. He finally agreed to drop my dosage in half, which still didn't seem to work for me. FINALLY at my next appointment, he agreed that the Glyburide was not a good option for me, as I had one of the only adverse reactions he has ever experienced in his practice (I swear I'm always that 1%)!! He suggested I go to insulin next. I was not looking forward to taking shots but I knew this was best for my son, this isn't about me and my comfort level. He wanted me to start at 5 units of insulin at night and 10 in the morning. I told him I'd like to start at 5 at night and 5 in the morning as I have great numbers throughout the day and he was receptive to it. I've now been on insulin for roughly 4 weeks now and I'm still taking 5 units in the morning but my nighttime dosage was upped to 8 because my fasting numbers were still in the upper 90s and so far this seems to be a perfect combination to keep all my numbers under control. The amount I'm on is actually considered on the lower end as far as dosage goes, many women have increases every week and can be on as much as 100 units a day so for that, I'm very grateful. I definitely don't have the sugar crashes like I did on Glyburide because the insulin I'm on is long lasting so it slowly releases after I take it, over several hours. The only bad "side effect" (if you can even call it that) is bruising on my sides from the shots, which isn't even a big deal. Overall, gestational diabetes sucks...let's be honest but it's not the end of the world and it's completely manageable once you figure out the best treatment plan for you!