Sad Update..

Again, I apologize it's been so long since I've last updated. The last several weeks have been the happiest and most devastating of my life. My last post was all about how I would be starting my 2nd round of Provera and Femara. The morning of Thursday, Oct. 30 I took a home pregnancy test, for the sole purpose of ruling out a pregnancy before I began taking my medication again that night. To my utter delight, it was positive! For the first time in our TTC journey, I actually got a positive! I just started yelling and crying and burst into the bedroom and woke my husband up and we just cried and hugged for probably 10 minutes! I have never been so happy in my entire life. On my way to work, I called the doctors office and told them my exciting news, to my surprise all the nurse said I had to do was set up my first 2 prenatal appointments, the first would be Wednesday, Nov. 26..just a bunch of testing and information and my next would be Friday, Dec. 5. I asked if I needed to come in for blood work and she said that HPTs are 99.9% accurate so it wasn't necessary. I hung up the phone, talked to my husband and we both were not satisfied with that! We had been trying for over 3 years, I wanted to know all my levels! I called the doctors office back and basically demanded to get a blood test and after the nurse got approval from my doctor, we went that evening...the next day, I found out my hcg was 148 and my progesterone was 21.5! I was officially pregnant. We told my parents and my husbands mom that weekend and everyone was so excited. I went in for my second beta that next Monday and it was 577. My levels were progressing exactly as they should be. Over the next few weeks, I was definitely starting to FEEL pregnant....sore boobs, extreme tiredness and morning sickness all kicked in. I ended up taking 50 mg vitamin b6 and 1/2 unisom tablet twice a day to combat the nausea so I didn't have to miss any work and it worked wonders! My doctor estimated my due date as June 30, 2015. This entire time, I was quite frustrated with my doctors office...I felt they were very "hands off" about everything. We tried to conceive for so long and had a medicated cycle and they weren't going to be doing my first ultrasound until my 2nd prenatal appointment which is when I was 10w4d. I tried to express my fears and concerns to the nurse but she said my blood work was perfect, I had no history of miscarriage and I wasn't bleeding or cramping so everything was going as smooth as can be. Fast forward to Friday, Dec 5...my husband and I both took off work and we were so thrilled to see and hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. My doctor said he suspected twins because of the medicated cycle and had the nurse get the portable ultrasound machine into the exam room. The screen wasn't facing me but my doctor was silent. He said it was definitely twins but that he wasn't seeing what he wanted to. He shut the machine off and said he would send me to a different room to get an internal ultrasound but wanted to prepare us that it appears this isn't a viable pregnancy. My heart dropped and my husband and I just sat in the exam room and cried. We went into the other ultrasound room and just saw two empty gestational sacs. My doctor suspected a blighted ovum and suggested I schedule a D&C because it could be weeks to pass the tissue naturally. I wanted the weekend to think about it. Aside from all the anger and sadness of losing my babies, I had NEVER had any kind of surgery before. I decided Monday morning (Dec. 8) that I needed to go ahead with the D&C so that I could begin my physical and emotional healing. On Tuesday, Dec. 9 at exactly 11 weeks, I went in for surgery at 7:15 AM. I slept maybe an hour the night before, I was scared sh**less. The surgery was quick, I was awake less than an hour after receiving the anesthesia. I stayed in the recovery room for a few hours and went home later that morning. I will make another post discussing my D&C experience, from what I read online, I feel like I had a rougher recovery than most. As I type this, it's now exactly three weeks after the surgery and emotionally I'm doing as good as I can be. I have an appointment with my doctor next Monday to discuss what pathology found with the tissue as well as discussing the next step in our TTC journey. He's thinking we can start trying again as early as 4 weeks, but I know I won't be ready by then. The silver lining is that I was able to get pregnant, and that is great but I don't know if I could handle another loss like this, I now know what it's like to physically feel your heart breaking. I just don't understand why this is happening to us, we are good people and would make great parents. Life is far from fair sometimes. I will update again after my next appointment.

Round 2

Here we go again!! My first cycle with Femara was unsuccessful. Currently, I'm on CD37 and AF hasn't made her grand appearance yet so I will be starting Provera again tomorrow. Hopefully it won't take 11 days after my last pill to start AF again but we will see. I will be doing Femara again on CD5-9 only this time I will be taking (3) 2.5 mg. pills instead of 2. On CD21 I will have my progesterone checked and they will be able to determine if I ovulated because my doctor still believes I didn't with this past cycle. I'm bummed that it didn't work the first round, but I'm optimistic for the second. That's all for now.

Baby dust to all!

Tuesday Tea #3

Good Tuesday Morning everyone! Today's post will be quite short as I only made one tea related purchase this past week. Teavana has finally released a few more holiday blends! I was elated to see the White Chocolate Peppermint Rooibos Tea. I was able to take advantage of a free shipping offer that Teavana had this past weekend and purchased 6 oz. of the tea, along with another tin. It's expected to arrive this Friday and I can't wait! I'm also debating purchasing another Perfectea Maker so I can have one here at work. That's all for today, let me know what you've been drinking and loving and I'll talk to you soon!


Ashley

8 TTC Essentials

Happy Saturday! For today's post, I thought I would share some of my TTC Essentials. A few of these products I've mentioned in previous posts but I figured I would put everything together so if you're about to embark on this crazy TTC journey you can pick and choose what will work for you!

1. Wondfo Ovulation Tests  - These "cheapie" ovulation tests are a godsend. If you end up TTCing as long as I have (I pray you don't) these will save you a TON of money! Added bonus: they usually come with a few pregnancy tests too, depending on exactly where you buy them.

2. Clearblue Digital Ovulation Tests - These tests are a bit more expensive, but also more accurate. I recommend these when/if you start medicated cycles.

3. Disposable Plastic Cups - Taking all those tests, you'll need something to pee into! Nothing fancy, these come in bulk and they're cheap.

4. Planner/Journal - I highly recommend a journal/notebook/planner of some sort. You don't need to spend $50 like I did on an Erin Condren planner but I purchased mine with the intention of keeping track of my day to day schedule. It wasn't until after I received it that I found it worked great for keeping track of my ovulation tests, doctors appointments, cycle days, symptoms and prescriptions. It's also great to look back and compare older tests.

5. Period Calendar App - I love this app! It will keep track of how long your cycle is, when you're most fertile and you can add details like how heavy your flow is and when you baby dance.

6. Rice Heating Pad - Whether it be menstrual cramps or cramps from fertility meds, a great heating pad is a must! This adorable shop on Etsy has the cutest designs and can even make Lavender or Eucalyptus scented pads.

7. Vitafusion Prenatal Gummy Vitamins - Prenatal vitamins are important to take, even before that BFP. Studies show if you take 400 mcg of folic acid daily at least one month before conception, you can cut neural tube defects down by as much as 70%. These vitamins taste great and are very reasonably priced.

8. Peppermint Tea - This has been a huge help when I've had bouts of nausea. I love peppermint and ginger to calm my stomach but most of the products I find are jam packed with sugar. This tea is caffeine free and organic.


Well that completes my list of the top 8 TTC essentials! Let me know what your must have products are!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Ashley

My TTC Journey in a nutshell

If you'd like to make a ticker of your own, go HERE

CD31/8DPO?

Hi everyone! I'm currently on CD31 and 8DPO(?). I couldn't stand the anticipation anymore, so I took a cheap HPT this morning and it was negative. I'm going to try and hold out until Saturday and test again. I called my Doctor earlier this week and talked about what was going on and he thinks that I did not ovulate and that the cheaper internet test was a false positive on CD22. So the next plan of action is if I still get a negative HPT on Monday morning I will get another prescription filled for Provera (If AF doesn't start by then...which let's be real, IT WON'T) and also take Femara on CD5-9 again. It also sounds like this second cycle I will be doing a trigger shot somewhere around CD20. I'm still holding out hope that he's wrong and I did in fact ovulate and will get a BFP this weekend but throughout this TTC journey, I've learned that it's more important to be realistic. I've gotten by hopes up too many times, only to be disappointed. I'm not going to lie, I was hoping I would be one of the lucky ones to get pregnant on my first medicated cycle. I just hope and pray this second round works. My Doctor already said before I began my first medicated cycle that I'm only able to do three rounds of Femara total and if it doesn't work the next few steps will be a Laparoscopy for me, semen analysis for my husband, followed by IUI and eventually IVF. It feels like we're getting closer and closer to the end of the road, but I can't think about that. I have two rounds of Femara left and I need to stay positive! I'm not looking forward to the Femara headaches again and any/all side effects from the trigger shot (thanks google) but in the end, it will be worth it! I'll update you again on Monday...fingers crossed for a BFP!!!


 Baby dust to all!

Ashley

Tuesday Tea #2

Happy Tuesday everyone. This past weekend, I did some much needed shopping at Teavana and here are all of my choices:


Wild Orange Wulong Oolong Tea - I've tried the Wild Orange Blossom Herbal and loved it and this one is very similar so I purchased 6 oz.

Dosha Chai Rooibos Tea -This is an ALL time favorite of mine, so I stocked up with 8 oz.

Honeybush Vanilla Herbal Tea - This is another favorite, so I purchased 6 oz.

S'mores Oolong Tea - If I had to pick, this is probably my least favorite. I wasn't sure if I would like it so I only picked up 2 oz.

Perfectea Rock Sugar - I tried the rock sugar in a sample when I made an online purchase and it adds such a nice sweetness without being overpowering, so I purchased 2 lbs and in doing so, I was able to save 10% off each tea purchase. 


My teas were starting to take over my counter tops so I dedicated a drawer in my kitchen to hold all of my latest obsessions.

Let me know if you have any questions or if you're looking for recommendations. Have a great week!!

xoxo,
Ashley