Anatomy Scan

Greetings!! We had our 20 week anatomy scan last Friday 5/27 and it couldn't have gone better!! I still find myself dreading appointments and ultrasounds because I'm still expecting something to go wrong, it all just seems too easy...we went through almost 5 years of infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, d&c surgeries, methotrexate injections and now out of the blue we have a perfect, healthy baby and we did NOTHING different than previous pregnancies. I'm just so scared. At our ultrasound, we got confirmation again that it's a boy...he's definitely not shy about his manhood. However, the little stinker wouldn't let us get a good look at his face. He's the cutest little thing I've ever laid my eyes on! Even though I still can't really feel it, he was kicking his legs like a little karate kid. After our ultrasound the Doctor came in and said he looked just perfect, all organs are there and working properly. He's measuring in the 75th percentile and has no markers for things like down syndrome and turners syndrome. If I think about it too much, I cry. I'm just so thankful, grateful and feeling so insanely blessed that this miracle decided we get to be his parents. We are so in love with him already and counting down the days to his arrival!

It's a.....

BOY!!!!!! I had a feeling from very early on that we had a little boy brewing just based on the old wives tales and symptoms. The ultrasound place we went to was amazing, a HUGE screen and we got to see our little guy playing with his toes and sucking his thumb. I am totally, completely in love with our son!!

First trimester recap

I can't believe it! I'm 13 weeks today and officially in my second trimester!! Overall, I can't complain too much about my first trimester. I just feel grateful to have made it this far and can't wait to meet our little one in about six months. I still haven't purchased anything, or even thought about getting a nursery ready..mostly because I'm waiting to hit the magical 24 week viability point...I guess that's another thing infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss does to a person. Not that I feel like buying something will jinx me, but if something does go wrong, I don't want to have to pack baby clothes away, or walk past an empty nursery. Here's some stats to sum up what the first trimester looked like for me...

Total weight gained/lost : -7 lbs. 
Symptoms: sore boobs, waves of nausea (only during weeks 7 & 8), BAD headaches (weeks 9-12), mild fatigue, hunger.
Cravings: Bagels and cream cheese, beef, spicy food
Aversions: Noodles


That's about it, nothing too terrible. The scariest moment was at 11w1d when I went to use the restroom and discovered I was bleeding bright red. I know this can be somewhat common, but in all my pregnancies, I've never had it happen to me so I was incredibly panicked. To make things worse, my husband had left that morning to go out of state for work. I immediately called my doctor and we discovered I had a subchorionic hematoma (http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/complications/subchorionic-bleeding.aspx) which only happens in about 1% of pregnancies (go figure). Generally, it doesn't pose a threat, and clears up on it's own. I haven't had any bleeding since, but in that moment, I thought it was all over...thank god everything is okay.

On a positive note, we made the official announcement on our social media pages and everyone was so thrilled for us. This is the first time we shared any of our pregnancies and it felt so nice to not feel like we weren't in hiding anymore!

That's about it, we have an early ultrasound set up in TWO WEEKS to find out the gender so I will be sure to come on and make a post about that right away!


Thank you for the support as always.

xoxo,
Ashley

First ultrasound anxiety

Well on Monday, Feb. 22 we went in for our very first ultrasound with this pregnancy. If you've been following our journey for a while you know that all of our miscarriages were considered "missed miscarriages" which means I had no signs of losing the babies, it was during the first ultrasound every time that we discovered the pregnancies were not viable. I don't know that my heart rate has ever been higher than it was in that waiting room. We walked into the room, where I had so many bad memories and discovered we had an adorable, healthy, perfect baby with a heart rate of 129! I will never ever forget that moment. I never thought we would be lucky enough to experience that. Today I am currently 7w3d and feeling so-so. I have a hard time figuring out what I want to eat and most of the day I'm nauseous off and on. That's perfectly fine, I'll take that in exchange for my sweet bub any day! We are still very cautiously optimistic but I'm trying to just let myself get completely excited and let go of all the worry. Easier said than done. For now, here's a few pictures of our perfect miracle!

V Day Q&A

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day Everyone!

I'm a sap for all things romantic so even though I think it's important to show our spouse or significant other love and appreciation every day of the year, why not celebrate a little bit more on one extra special day?!

This Valentine's Day, my husband and I ran some errands at Lowe's (bow chicka wah wah) and then because I'm currently between 6 and 7 weeks pregnant, and seem to only want carbs, we stopped for lunch at Noodles and Co and even got extra so we could have the same thing for dinner! We watched some of our favorite TV shows, watched a movie and had an ultimate, us only, no interruptions kind of day and it was perfect! To me, Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about spending a ton of money on a romantic weekend away, or showering the person with gifts but rather spending quality time together doing things you each enjoy.

I thought it would be fun to do a little Valentine's Day Q&A so you can learn a little bit more about my love story!


1. Where did you meet your other half?
My husband and I met in the front yard of a private school in my town (that neither of us went to by the way, weird I know). We live in a fairly small town and there's not much for teenagers to do so my best friend at the time called one of her guy friends to meet up and we were all going to head to the next town over to see what kind of trouble we could get into and her guy friend just so happened to be with a friend of his driving around in his friends new truck. The guys pulled up and from the second I saw my now husband, it was like time stood still. I knew I had to get to know this guy. I think everyone could see the sparks flying between us.
 
2. How long have you been with your significant other?
We have been married for almost 5 years and together for almost 12. 

3. If you’re married, when did you say “I do”?
9-10-11

4. What song did you walk down the aisle to?
Train "Marry Me" and Pachelbel "Canon in D Major"

5. Do you have any children yet?
We have 4 VERY loved babies in heaven and 1 on the way.
 
6. What’s your favorite thing about your other?
He's just genuinely the best human being I've ever met. He's hard-working, funny, tough...but at the same time, always so attentive to my needs and wants. He's so sweet and caring. 

7. Were you and your other half high school sweethearts?
Sort of. He's 2 years older than me so even though we started dating when I was 16 and about to start my junior year, he was already out of school.

8. Where was your first date?
Our first date was going mudding on a friend's property way out in the country and then having a bonfire after...it was perfect. 

9. How long were you dating before you said “I love you”?
It was about 3 months. 
 
10. How long were you dating your other half before he/she proposed?
We were dating just shy of 5 years. 

11. Where is your favorite place you have traveled with your other half?
He actually came on a family vacation with us to Gatlinburg, TN when I was 17 for my sisters first wedding. 

12. How do you and your other half usually spend Valentines Day?
We've done everything from extravagant vacations to chill days watching movies and ordering Chinese food...it's really whatever we're both in the mood to do. 
 
13. What does your favorite ‘date night’ consist of?
We like all kinds of different date nights....dinner and bowling, dinner and a movie, watching movies on the couch and ordering in food. 

14. What is the best gift you have received from your other half?
When we first starting dating, the first holiday we had together was Christmas and he got me a heart shaped necklace with a single diamond inside and it's my favorite piece of jewelry. 




I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day!!

God always has a bigger plan

Well......WE'RE PREGNANT!!! I think I'm still in a state of shock. If you read my last post, we weren't planning on really trying again until late spring/early summer. AF never showed in January and even though I had been taking pregnancy tests, they were all coming up negative. My Doctor and I agreed that my PCOS must just be "in charge" of things again and he prescribed Provera. I kept putting it off because I had a gut feeling I was pregnant and was so confused that my tests were negative. Finally on Feb. 1, I told myself I have to stop putting it off and just start the damn Provera. I took one last cheap pregnancy test on my lunch break, with probably 5th morning urine and ended up forgetting to check it before I went back to work. I came home that night and saw a faint line! The next morning I took a Clearblue digital and the word "PREGNANT" came up right away. I went in for my first beta on Feb. 3 and my hcg came back at 280 and progesterone was 13.9. Although he said my progesterone was an adequate number, I'm still being prescribed a prometrium suppository as a precaution. My next beta is tomorrow and although I'm nervous of things going wrong again, I'm trying my best to stay positive. My husband and I are due for some good news! I should know my beta results Monday and will keep you posted!!

xoxo,
Ashley

HUGE news!!!!

We are giving conceiving naturally ONE last shot and I'm giving it everything I have left in me. I'm taking the next 5-6 months to (hopefully) lose approximately 40 lbs. Our goal is that by June, my cycles will cooperate and we can start trying again. Even though my Doctor thinks IVF is our next step, I asked him if he would be open to me doing a progesterone and baby aspirin regimen, and he is. I feel really good about this decision. If things don't work out again, I will know I tried my hardest and did everything possible to make it work. I think I would be more at peace than what I have been the last several losses. If god forbid, we have another loss, we will most likely move our focus to adoption rather than IVF. I know I've needed to lose this weight for a long time now and I can't imagine a better motivator than my future baby. I think it will also help with my anxiety, as I'm entirely too self conscious everywhere except my home. Here's to kicking infertility's ass!!