Declan's Birth!!!

I apologize for the incredibly delayed post, I've been busy kicking ass as a mother! My amazing son was born on 9/27/16 at 7:43 AM via cesarean, weighing 9 lbs and 21" long. I have a lot of mixed emotions about my birth experience, some of which I'm still trying to come to terms with. I'll start from the beginning. The morning of 9/27, we had to be to the hospital by 5:30 AM as I was the first surgery of the day. I was so emotional that morning, not only excited for his birth (obviously) but also a little sad because I was going to miss being pregnant so much. Although I had rough stretches of pregnancy (subchorionic hemorrhage, gestational diabetes, prodromal labor), overall it was an incredible experience. We checked into the hospital and no time was wasted getting me in a gown, hooked up to monitors, starting an IV, getting blood drawn and drinking a nasty shot of some kind of liquid that would cut down the acidity in my stomach if I were to vomit during surgery. My doctor and anesthesiologist came in to talk to us and before I knew it, I walked back into the OR. I sat on the edge of the table and they attempted my epidural, I had to stop them at one point because it felt too far to my right, so it was taken out and restarted. When it felt more centered and administered, it was seconds that they lifted my legs and had me lay in place on the table. My arms were out on both sides and they had a wedge pillow propping me up to one side to get pressure off a main artery. Before I knew it the curtain went up and my husband walked in. He said the hardest part for him was seeing me shake as if I was having a seizure, which come to find out is very common and in my case, lasted for about 4 hours. Everything went so fast, and at 7:43 AM we heard those little cries for the first time. My husband and I both completely broke down in tears and I felt as if all the bad moments in our infertility journey replayed in my mind, like THIS....THIS moment is why we were put through all of that awful shit. My son was quickly taken over to the warmer to get weighed and then we were able to snap a quick photo all together. They noticed right away his breathing was very labored so sadly, we never got to do skin to skin and my husband was never able to cut the cord (these are the things still hard to come to terms with). My husband left with Declan while they finished his assessment and a few minutes later, I was wheeled back to our room. We never got to attempt breastfeeding right away because within minutes of me being wheeled back, our son was admitted to the special care unit (NICU) for his breathing difficulties. I wasn't able to hold my son until almost 12 hours after his birth. My recovery in the hospital was better than I expected. I think getting up and walking around as much as possible as soon as I could was crucial to my recovery. The day after surgery I was managing pain with just ibuprofen and that only continued for 2 days, then I was fine with nothing. I don't like taking medication of any kind, ever. We were discharged 3 days after surgery but because my son was still in the NICU, they allowed us to stay as a courtesy so we didn't have to leave without him. Declan ended up being diagnosed with a heart murmur, wet lung and laryngomalacia. He was hooked up to monitors the entire time in the hospital, which ended up being a total of 6 days. He also needed a feeding tube at one point. He was poked and prodded at so much that first day, it still breaks my heart to think about it. He needed his blood sugars checked several times those first few hours because of my gestational diabetes and fortunately, he regulated quickly. He needed xrays and an EKG. Oxygen desaturations were the biggest thing they were monitoring, his levels dropped quite low, several times. He was checked a couple times a day by different pediatricians and finally on Monday, Oct 3, he was wheeled into our room for the first time and we got the OK to go home! Although his oxygen levels dropped several times, he pulled himself out of it each and every time so no medical intervention was ever needed and they felt confident in sending him home. It was hard being in the hospital 6 days and never having him in our room.; especially when the walls aren't very thick and you can hear other babies crying with their moms in the rooms around you. We were able to go visit him in the NICU just about every time we wanted, except when the doctors were doing their rounds or when another baby was being admitted but it was still very uncomfortable in such a tight space, uncomfortable chairs and no privacy. Overall, what matters is that he's healthy and so am I. He is now 10w3d old and THRIVING! He's up to 15 lbs and just over 24" long. We never dealt with any colic and he has only spit up 3 or 4 times ever! He is still exclusively breastfed (I pump) and eats anywhere from 28 - 38 oz/day. We have our rough nights but overall, he's been a great sleeper from the get go...doing anywhere from 3-7 hour stretches from the very beginning! He is such a sweet boy and I feel so lucky that I was chosen to be his mama.